Body language conveys emotion, honesty, sympathy, empathy, and sincerity through facial expression, hand gestures, eye movement, posture and the like. It is a behavioral science. But can it be used or controlled to portray other than the truth?

Controlling body language starts with being aware of it. In daily life we see many displays of controlled body movement, sometimes they are for entertainment other times to influence our feelings or convince or convey that a situation is different than what the truth of the matter may be.

Think of actors, their performance is not merely memorizing and reciting lines. Their body language includes facial expressions and body movements, which combined with the script makes their performance. They often study appropriate body language to portray a character and situation. So an actor is a prime example of controlling body language to persuade or influence a situation or interaction.

Now on the other hand, look at politicians… and their ability to control body language! Ok, I am sure you get the idea and can fill in the blanks.

Body language conveys emotion, honesty, sympathy, empathy, and sincerity. It is a behavioral science.

Poker Face

Controlling facial expressions and body movements puts up a smoke screen.

Controlling facial expressions and body movements puts up a smoke screen.

We have all heard someone referred to as having a “poker face”. Think about what this means for a moment. In the game of poker the player’s hand is their prize and they don’t want to give any detail away as to what they hold. This speaks to the importance of body language. A true poker player will control his/her body language so as not to give any clues as to what they are holding in their hand. Controlling facial expressions and body movements puts up a smoke screen to the other players.

For instance simply sitting on the edge of the seat of the chair lends to the player being on edge. Many professional and serious poker players will sport sunglasses so that their eye movement in not observable. Eye movement can give away information that an opponent may find of great value. Also fidgeting or shaking hands are signs that show the player may be vulnerable. Utmost calm and control are essential elements to the game.

Self Control

Showing emotion is often thought of as a sign of weakness or a loss of self control. Controlling body language can protect you from allowing those around you to see the emotion you are feeling. Emotional people are often avoided in society and dismissed as out of control, making those in their presence uncomfortable. So the next time a guy breaks up with you, put on a strong face with a reticent smile that involves more than the corners of your mouth and you may just leave him wondering where he went wrong.

Controlling your body language and understanding how the gestures you make impact your communication skills will help your interpersonal relationship skills take off. People gravitate towards positive people. Put your best foot forward, put on a positive stance that shows your inner confidence, and substitute the positive gesture for the negative gesture.

So be conscious of your movements and gestures. Remember the riddle “how do you get to the theatre?” Answer: practice, practice, practice. Well that is just the key to controlling your body language. Get out the mirror and ask: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most controlled of all?” You will have a few laughs along the way but in the end people will be laughing with you not at you.

Body language is a powerful instrument, so don’t be afraid to use it once you know how to use it, and you will be making beautiful music before you know it.

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